US Liberals Say Teaching Dogs to Play Dead Must be banned

DogPlaysDead

By: Boffola Ersatz
The Tyne & Wear Mirror, UK

USA – In yet another WTF turn, it seems that American left-wing liberals have absolutely lost all connection with reality. According to the Seattle based organization; Pardon All Pets (PAP), training dogs to play dead is harmful to the animal.

Rainbow Starr, the animal rights organization’s lead spokesperson said, “Forcing dogs to imitate their own death causes them stress and agonizing emotional pain.” Citing findings of recent research conducted by the National Institute for the Study of Animal Cognition (NISAC), Starr says that just five incidents of forced death simulations (FDS) caused post-traumatic stress symptoms in 92% of the canines tested while less than 1% perished during the study, “presumably precipitated by the violent nature of the simulations”, Starr stated.

Dr. Purdy Ranker, director of canine studies at the NISAC, characterizes the level of emotional harm suffered by most dogs that have been subjected to five FDSs as being remarkably similar to the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) seen in combat personnel returning from tour of duty in the war-torn middle east.

PAP’s attorney, Lance Boyle, maintains that the animal rights group is not alone in the effort to introduce legislation to this make this inhumane practice illegal. “There are currently ten groups working together with Senator Shards Oglaz to draft the new federal law.”, Boyle said. Senator Oglaz’s (D-WA) office has been unresponsive to our requests for a statement.

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